Letter #7 – Palms up

Posted on 12. Nov, 2011 by in Leadership

Letter #7 – Palms up
From: Brett Trapp – Nov 12, 2011
To: Brett Trapp – Nov 12, 2001

Dear Brett,

Ok, I’m back. Sorry for the left-overs yesterday.

In letter #9 I gave you a long list of your weaknesses. I forgot one, and it’s one of your biggest.

You’re easily offended.

When someone challenges you, you snap at them. When someone disagrees with you publicly, you quietly despise them. When someone slams you with words, you sledgehammer back. Or worse yet, you withdraw and retreat into your shell, scorned. You get defensive if someone calls out your integrity because you want to protect your image as a “good Christian guy” (I’ll talk more about that in a few days). And when these things happen, you hang on to them like a bottle of Jack in an alcoholics’ ward. You just can’t set it down, sipping on it days, even weeks, later. Simmering, stewing. As a sophomore in college, you’re aware of this. But you think it’s normal, and that it will just always be this way.

It won’t. It shouldn’t. It can’t.

There is a guy working at Thomas Nelson up in Nashville. His name is Michael Hyatt, and he’ll be a big deal in a couple of years. You’re going to hear him speak at a conference where he’ll talk about overlooking offenses. You’re going to learn that being offended is a choice–a conscious choice. And the good thing about choices is that you control them like a remote controlled car.





Sounds very kindergarten, doesn’t it? But this is going to change your life, Brett. It won’t eliminate the sensation of being offended, but it’s going to help you relabel and reframe what’s happening.

So now, when someone offends me, I pray and then coach myself through it. When the incident happens, I immediately shut my mouth. I don’t let myself lash out. I talk myself off the ledge of offense. Am I perfect at it? Of course not. I’m still human. But I’m getting better every day.

There’s real freedom here, Brett. Freedom to not have to be right. Freedom to relax and breathe the air of forgiveness. Freedom to lay down the bazooka of self-protection. Freedom to unclench those fists and go palms up.

Palms up.

That’s a fun way to live, Brett.

Remember this.


P.S. You’re paying about $1.80/gallon for gas right now. Enjoy that. [laughs]

3 Responses to “Letter #7 – Palms up”

  1. Derrick

    10. Mar, 2014



  2. floyd

    15. Jun, 2014


    tnx for info!!…

  3. hubert

    29. Jun, 2014


    thanks for information!…

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